Is this Walmart, daycare or college?

I've been pretty busy lately and haven't posted anything since school started a few weeks ago.  So far, all is going well, and I've managed to stay on top of my schoolwork, which already puts me ahead of where I was last time I was in college.  It really bodes well for me that this time I don't care nearly as much about keggers at the Delta Chi house.

I read in the Indy Star last week that for the first time ever, the majority of college students in the state of Indiana are over the age of 25, which explains the wrinkle cream display at the Ivy Tech bookstore.  I like to refer to people in my age group as the "Minivan Mafia".  I'm thinking of having sweatshirts made...

Aside from going to classes, I do a lot of people watching.  This has caused my pet-peeve-ometer to go off the scale more than a few times.  Usually, this is due to someone's attire, and their failure to understand what may or may not be appropriate to wear to school.  A few examples (yes, I know-  if "catty" were a perfume, I'd reek of it...):

     ~ Call me old fashioned, but if I can tell that you need a maintenance bikini wax, then your shorts probably need to be a tad longer.
     ~ And here's what I like to call "The Roseanne Act of 1994":  If you are on the larger side, please make sure that the length of your shirt and the rise of your pants are in harmony.  If not, then try not to raise your arms up, lest you give us a midriff view we don't want or need to see.
     ~ Don't take your shoes off in class.  I don't need to elaborate.
     ~ Leggings are meant to be worn under something else, not as pants.  And definitely not as an accent to your tank top, which is also meant to be worn underneath something else.
     ~ Patterned/Dark colored bra + white t-shirt = Saturday night at the trailer park, not Math 023.
     ~ Please don't be offended if you sit next to me and I immediately move across the room.  I'm sure you're a really nice person and all, but you've just been chain-smoking in your car for the last half hour.

On a more positive note, I have found some nice people at school too.  One girl is in both of my classes & is a hairstylist who is getting a business degree so she can open her own salon.  I'm always up for meeting someone to discuss hair, makeup and shopping with!  Another girl who is in our English class is also going for nursing, and her name is Jessica, so right away I knew she was pretty cool.  She's a major Yankee's fan, but I'm working on overlooking that.

Until next time...

"Common sense ain't common." - Will Rogers

 

Top 10 Reasons...

School starts in less than a week, and I'm trying to get myself motivated.  So here is a Top 10 list of the "perks" of being a 36 year-old student...

   10) I'm old enough to be my own room mom, and I make darn good brownies.
     9) I married a math wiz, so I don't have to mow lawns to make extra money for tutoring.
     8) I can refer to most of my professors as "Kiddo", "Sonny" or "Squirt".
     7) I'll never be hung over at an early morning class.
     6) Unlike when I was in school as a kid, they now have hot pink laptops that I can decorate with my own bling.
     5) I don't have to care about getting in good with the popular girls.
     4) I do my own laundry, so I don't have to get all bent out of shape because my mom forgot to iron my pants.
     3) I don't have to experience the angst of having to decide between the Hello Kitty or Wonder Woman backpack.
     2) I'm not forced to eat gelatinous salisbury steak & room-temperature milk for lunch.

And the #1 reason why going back to school at 36 is kinda cool....
     1) I have kids & a husband who'll clap for me and say "Yay!" when I get an A on a test.

Random observations...and back to school

At Panera...
   When we are in a place with such close confines, such as Panera or Starbucks, your "just between us" phone conversation is now between you, Jim in the accounting department, and me.  And for the record, I'm pretty sure Jim can sense your condescending tone, so he's probably not in any hurry whatsoever to hit that deadline for your important meeting this afternoon, and will most likely be on the golf course.

On my street...
   I think it's really cool that the older guy down the street has lost quite a bit of weight & is getting into shape by jogging every night.  What's NOT cool is that he thinks he is in good enough shape to do it shirtless and in spandex shorts.

In my living room...
   Kids are smart & pick up stuff we never think about.  My two year-old, Ian, seems to have a new phase every week.  Lately, when one of us is on the phone, he'll stand nearby and repeat every word we say, right after we say it.  I've started calling him "Pete the Repeater".  Also, the other night, Andy was playing poker online & Ian was standing there watching, saying "All in!  All in!".  Andy had to explain to him that you don't go "all in" with a 5-8 offsuit.  Well, unless you are Tom Dwan.

Back to school update...
   So after a 16-year hiatus, a marriage and two kids, this gal is heading back to school in 3 weeks!  Yes, I know it would have been much easier BEFORE the two kids....  Anyway, I'm only taking 2 classes-  English and Math so I don't overload myself right off the bat.  Ivy Tech has a two-year RN program & I'm really looking forward to getting into the nursing field.  Luckily I married a math major so I can get a good deal on tutoring.


Here are some random thoughts/concerns I've had lately...these are the things that run through my head while I'm trying to fall asleep at night:


-Are there going to be a bunch of young bitchy girls there?  If so, I'm going to have to go all "Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes" on them...


-How much judgement will I receive if I show up with my Barbie lunch box & thermos?  Ok, maybe I'll just stick with my insulated travel coffee mug with Ian's picture on it.


-What is everyone wearing to school now???  I need to find a good balance between the aforementioned bitchy girls and the mom who has a travel mug with her kid's picture on it.  I'm frowning upon anything with the word "juicy" on the butt.


-Are there still dumb jocks who do the "loser sneeze" when a nerdy looking kid walks in?  Good lord...I've been watching WAY too much Glee.

Hey, be a dear and click "share", will ya?  I think only 4 people have read this blog so far;)

Happy 4th of July:)

As we celebrate America's 200-something birthday this weekend, keep in mind that no matter what kind of economic & environmental mess we are in or what kind of crazy people are out there walking and breeding amongst us, this is still the greatest country on earth.  Thank you to all of the men and women who have sacrificed their families, friends and even their lives & limbs to keep this country free.  Because of you, we have the right to say and do stuff that may raise an eyebrow or two, or if you are really lucky, earn a segment on The Daily Show.  We can go see over-hyped movies about vampires, wait in line for 16 hours for a phone that may be outdated in 3 months, and we can throw a huge tantrum and scream incessantly at our teammates in the dugout for no reason...oh, wait, my bad-  no, we can't do THAT.  

By the way, if you are purchasing alcohol in Indiana this weekend, have your ID ready.  Yes, even you, Grandpa, you are about to feel 21 again.  

Have a great 4th everyone, and to close us out, here's a diddy from Brad Paisley...."American Saturday Night".

I'm sorry...why exactly are you famous, again?

All opinions are mine alone, based on articles I've read, tv shows I've seen (ok, usually just previews) or even just one unfortunate picture on TMZ.

Call me old-fashioned, but I remember back when famous people were famous for some sort of athletic talent, acting ability or skill and not just because their daddy is rich and they can afford a $2500 Hermes bag for their miniscule bejeweled dog to poop in.

(insert first name here) Kardashian: Riding on the coattails of Bruce Jenner. No movies, no acting, just big boobs, way too much tanning and huge mysterious sunglasses that cost more than my first car.

Lady Gaga: Mediocre singing voice, but only after using thousands of dollars worth of sound equipment and countless hours of editing. The big gimmick here is a lot of wacky outfits and humongous hair bows. Sorry honey, but that look was invented by Nellie Olsen on Little House and I'd pick her over you to have my back in a bar fight. And who wears a black bra & panty set to a Yankees game???

Real Housewives of (insert trendy location here) : Um...where do I start? "Real" housewives? I'd bet my own mother that none of these women can tell you off the top of their head where the vacuum cleaner is, what day all the good coupons come in the mail or how to get a puke stain out of the carpet. To be fair though, I don't know where the best place is to get Botox or how to best reduce the lip swelling after a few collagen injections.

That's my rant for the day...

"Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things." ~George Carlin

May the grandfather be with you...

After dating for several years, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart tied the knot on Tuesday in New Mexico. It was a small private ceremony conducted by the governor of NM. I was able to reach Mr. Ford by phone, and asked him about his feelings for Calista and why there was no church wedding. His comment was, "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

As for Calista, I took that girl out for a nice big cheeseburger.